a love letter for the departed one

dear you in heaven,

i know i never had a deep feeling to you
and that’s very wrong
i never wished for you to understand
but everything was just wrong from the very beginning
i know you had nothing to do with it,
but you were there, came among us
and i didn’t really know what to do to you
as time went by i tried to love you
i tried to forgive,
although forgetting has always been something else
i kept telling myself that i was just human
and therefore i had no right to judge
i know what i had done to you was not fair
for that i apologize, from the very bottom of my heart

however, do you know what, when i saw you lying there
…lifeless
i knew i would never be the same again
i had wished something evil and something angelic
i am so sorry

now you are much better than me
you are straight to heaven,
the final destination of all human who live
while me, i’m still here, like others
still don’t know how long the stairway to heaven will be

and the questions are,
will you recognise me when we finally meet again?
will you smile to me?
will you forgive me?

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