what a life

have you ever lost your faith in anything?

if this question is asked to me, i won’t sure what to say.

i’ve always been a person with so much obsession and ambition. i want to do this, i want to do that. i want to achieve this, i have to achieve that. so many things. i thought i would always have strength to keep moving forward to reach all of them. i thought i was that strong. but i don’t know why,,,suddenly, just suddenly, at some point, i just feel so tired.

maybe it’s because i’ve always been a person with so lack of self confidence. and being a Perfect Melancholy character always leads me to pessimistic.  that lately some disturbing questions just keep popping up in me:

“can i make it there?” “is this what i really want in life?” “what if when you get there, it’s not as beautiful as you’ve expected?” “do i have to sacrifice so many things for this?” “what if it doesn’t work?”

i’m not sure of what i’m doing now. well, i keep moving forward because i know that the world never waits for me. but i just don’t know whether i’m doing the right thing or not

it reminds me of lines in Father and Son song:

I was once like you are now
And I know that it’s not easy
To become when you’ve found
Something going on
But take your time–think a lot
Think of everthing you’ve got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not…

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