A Loner

one peaceful evening at Elizabeth's Piers, Hobart, October 2008

I thought I had many things to say, but as soon as I was faced by the blank page of the “add new post” I lost all the words. But my writing teacher always says that as a writer, you need to keep writing, even if you’re blank. Just write anything that came across your mind that very moment, even if it’s just “I have no idea what to write” and just believe it that the next sentence will just flow like a stream. And he’s always right.

I thought of a word “Loner”.ย  That’s probably because recently I’ve been listening to CNBlue’s track “I’m a Loner.” Even if the song actually tells about a heart-broken person, which is not really my situation right now, I just somehow think that the title fits me.

A Loner. The word written pretty much like the word “Loser”, but when you pronounce them, they sound differently. That word of course has a connection with the word “Lonely”, but in my opinion they have two different tendencies in meaning. Being a “Loner” is a choice that someone makes for him/herself. A choice to be in solitude, to draw back from the crowd. Being a “Loner” doesn’t mean the person feels “Lonely”. There’s sadness, regret, pitty and a certain amount of unhappiness within the word “Lonely”. It’s pretty much closer to the word “Loser” than the word “Loner”. To feel “Lonely” is something that everyone in his/her sense will never choose to have. Being “Lonely” is a sad situation.

Meanwhile, a “Loner” is someone who feels comfortable without a presence of other people. This person feels happy that way. A “Loner” feels that facing other people is an activity that requires a great amount of effort and energy. To show the proper expression, to behave, to talk properly, to need to listen, to give tolerance, sympathy, empathy…….for a “Loner” those things could be an exhausting thing to do.ย  So there’s no sadness, regret, pitty or unhappiness in a Loner’s loneliness.

But who buys this crap? As long as we’re a living human, we cannot be a pure “Loner”. Homo homini socius ~ man is a social creature. Man cannot live without other humans. So a “Loner” still need friends. And he/she makes friends in order to survive the life on earth. And having experienced friendship, the joy of being accompanied by people who accept and love us the way we are, leads to the possibility of a “Loner” feels “Lonely” sometimes.

Well, I hope I’m not writing this because I think I’m a Loner. Or do I? Some people say I’m a self-centrist, a selfish. And I enjoy being all by myself, but who doesn’t?? Everyone needs sometimes alone. And I’m not a selfish person. I’m an A blood type! An A blood type maybe fonds of contemplation, but he/she is not a geneticly selfish like a B blood type. Being an A blood type who is afraid of a “particular social commitment” doesn’t make me a Loner, right?

Anyway, it’s another after-rain night and again I’m having this CNBlue’s “I’m a Loner” song playing in my play list.

Ahh, if any of you wondering who the heck is this CNBlue? They’re Korean band. Not BOY band or commonly called Idol Group, they’re band. They probably look like any other Korean “pretty” boys, but they don’t dance. They play music instrument and bring up their own music character, which is unlike most of idol groups in “trends” that bring up love ballad or house dance in their music. So, along with Kelly Clarkson, Maroon 5, Matchbox 20, One Republic, and Backstreet Boys ๐Ÿ˜€ , I have Korean band CNBlue and Korean good-vocal girl duo Davichi in my play list. ๐Ÿ˜‰

CNBlue's 2010 mini album

[source]

CNBlue’s Song for today:

*I’m a Loner/ ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ

 

์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ . ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ . ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ . ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ

 

๋ด๋ด ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋ด๋ด ๋˜‘๋ฐ”๋กœ ๋‚ด ๋‘ ๋ˆˆ์„ ๋ด
๊ฑฐ๋ด ์ด๋ฏธ ๋„ˆ๋Š” ๋”ด ๊ณณ์„ ๋ณด๊ณ  ์žˆ์–ด
Check it One Two Three ์‹œ๊ณ„๋ฐ”๋Š˜๋งŒ ์ณ๋‹ค ๋ณด๋Š” ๊ฒŒ
๋ง ์•ˆ ํ•ด๋„ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ ์ƒ๊ธด๊ฑธ ์•Œ์•„

์š”์ฆ˜ ๋„Œ ๋‚˜ ์•„๋‹Œ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ๋งŒ๋‚จ์ด ์žฆ๋”๋ผ
์ด์ œ๋Š” ๋จผ์ € ์ „ํ™”๋„ ๊ฑธ์ง€ ์•Š๋”๋ผ
๋‚˜๋ž‘ ์žˆ์„ ๋•Œ๋Š” ํ•˜๋ฃจ๊ฐ€ 1์ดˆ๋ผ๋„
๋„Œ ๋‚ด ์•ž์—์„œ ์š”์ฆ˜ ํ•˜๋Š˜๋งŒ ๋ณด๋”๋ผ

Oh~ I know your mind ์ด๋ฏธ
๋„ˆ์™€ ๋‚˜์˜ ๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ
๋ฉ€์–ด์ง„ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ฒŒ์–ด์ง„
๋‚จ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋ชปํ•œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์‚ฌ์ด

Oh baby ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ daridiridara du~
์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ daridiridara du~
์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์— ์Šฌํผํ•˜๊ณ 
์‚ฌ๋ž‘์— ๋ˆˆ๋ฌผ์ง“๋Š” ์™ธํ†จ์ด

Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Tonight
๊ฐ€์Šด์ด ์•„ํŒŒ
Oh no no no no Nobody knows
๋งˆ์Œ์„ ๋ชฐ๋ผ
One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Night
์ˆ˜ ๋งŽ์€ ๋ฐค์„ ์„ธ์šฐ๋ฉฐ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋‹ฌ๋ž˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์–ด

์ฐจ๋ผ๋ฆฌ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ ์ƒ๊ฒผ๋‹ค๊ณ 
๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์‹ซ์œผ๋ฉด ์‹ซ๋‹ค๊ณ 
์ฐจ๋ผ๋ฆฌ ์†”์งํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ด์คฌ๋‹ค๋ฉด
๋‚œ ๋„ˆ๋ฅผ ์ฃฝ๋„๋ก ๋ฏธ์›Œํ•˜์ง„ ์•Š์•˜์„ ํ…๋ฐ

Check it One Two Three ๋„ค ๋ง์„ ๋˜์ƒˆ๊ฒจ ๋ด๋„
์ด๋ฆฌ์ €๋ฆฌ ๋‘˜๋Ÿฌ๋Œ€๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์ง“๋ง์ด์•ผ

Oh baby ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ daridiridara du~
์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ daridiridara du~
์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ ์™ธํ†จ์ด์•ผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์— ์Šฌํผํ•˜๊ณ 
์‚ฌ๋ž‘์— ๋ˆˆ๋ฌผ์ง“๋Š” ์™ธํ†จ์ด

Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Tonight
๊ฐ€์Šด์ด ์•„ํŒŒ
Oh no no no no Nobody knows
๋งˆ์Œ์„ ๋ชฐ๋ผ
One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Night

์ˆ˜ ๋งŽ์€ ๋ฐค์„ ์„ธ์šฐ๋ฉฐ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋‹ฌ๋ž˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์–ด

์‚ฌ๋ž‘์ด ๊ฐ€๋„ค ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์ด ๋– ๋‚˜๋„ค
(ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์„ ๋‚ด๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์ต์ˆ™ํ–ˆ๋˜ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„)
์ด ๋ฐค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฉด ๋„ ์ง€์›Œ์•ผ๊ฒ ์ง€
(๊ทธ๋ž˜ ๋‚˜ ์–ต์ง€๋กœ๋ผ๋„ ๋„ˆ๋ฅผ ์ง€์›Œ์•ผ๊ฒ ์ง€
๋‚  ๋ฒ„๋ฆฐ ๋„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋ž˜์•ผ๊ฒ ์ง€)
(Gone Gone My love is Gone)

TRANSLATION:

(Iโ€™m a loner. Iโ€™m a loner.
Iโ€™m a loner. Iโ€™m a loner.)

Look, look at me, me. Look at me straight in the eyes.
Look, you are already look at elsewhere.
Check it one two three, you only keep looking at the clock.
You donโ€™t have to tell me. I know you got someone else.

(Rap)
Youโ€™ve been meeting someone else often lately.
You donโ€™t even call me first anymore.
When you are with me, you would only look at the sky even if a day is a second long.
Oh~ I know your mind. The distance between you and I.
Getting farther and wider. We are no better than strangers.

# oh baby Iโ€™m a loner, Iโ€™m a loner. daridiridara du~ Iโ€™m a loner. Iโ€™m a loner. daridiridara du~
Iโ€™m a loner, Iโ€™m a loner. Iโ€™m a loner being sad at love, shedding tear atlove. sad sad sad sad sad sad sad tonight. My heart hurts.
Oh no no no no no body knows, how I feel.
one two three four five six seven night, Iโ€™m cheering up myself passing many nights awake.

(Rap) If you had just told me honestly
that you got someone else. That you hate me.
Then I wouldnโ€™t have hated you to death.
check it one two three. Remembering your words, they are all silly lies.

# Repeat

Love is going. Love is leaving.
(One person and one love. Everything that Iโ€™ve been used to)
I should erase you after tonight.
(Yes, I should force myself to erase you. I should do so since you abandoned me)
(Gone Gone my love is gone)

Iโ€™m a loner, Iโ€™m a loner. daridiridara du~ Iโ€™m a loner, Iโ€™m a loner. daridiridara du~
Iโ€™m a loner, Iโ€™m a loner. Iโ€™m a loner hurt by love and waiting for love.
sad sad sad sad sad sad sad tonight, I want this to be a dream.
Oh no no no no no body knows, no body knows me.
one two three four five six seven night, Iโ€™m crying passing many nights awake.

[source]

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s