Within Your Portion to Bear

at one particular spot in King's Botanical Park, Perth

It was just another cold night in the middle of Australian winter 2008 when I had an online chat with an old friend.
We were talking about quite many things, but only one particular thing I remember the most until today.
I told him about my bad experience being a Muslim in that muslim-minority country.
I talked about the incident in my first day being the part of Birmingham Gardens neighborhood.
I shared my burdens with him.
From all the encouragement words he gave me that time, there’s one phrase that sticky sticked in my head until this very moment.
“It was your part, Ki.”
It was a very simple phrase –he may not even remember had said it, but hit me straightly in the mind.
He said that if those hard things in life had happened to someone else, that person might have not be able to bear it like I did.
He was not my close friend, but being my high school friend, he kind of knew what kind of life I had back then.
I was introduced to the real meaning of “hard life” and “great responsibility”.
Life seemed to weigh too much for the teenage me.
But I became strong, and life has seemed likely to lead me to the hard way since then.
So that’s why my friend said it was my part.
It’s like those hardships happened to me because God knew for sure that I could get through it, while others might not be able to even bear it.
It’s within my portion to bear…my part.

From then on, everytime I feel despair, I always recall that memory…that particular phrase, “It’s your part, Ki.”
It helps me to keep my faith, to believe in myself that I can get through it.
Like God said in Holy Quran, Surah Ash Sharh (Solace/Consolation/Relief): “Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.”

I’ve been complaining about this and that lately, feeling like losing a grip in everything…discontent of what I have in life today. Another friend told me that it could be an indication of being disgrateful, and I’m so afraid of realizing that it could be true.
So I try to stop it.

Work has weighed too much recently, while dream is still so far away to reach.
The feeling of great doubt and self-disappointment lead to despair.
But then again, I said to myself, “It’s your part, Ki. Deal with it. Cope with it. There must be a way. If there’s not, make your own way.”

Hope my friends can get through their hardships as well.
“It’s within your portion to bear.”

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