Harder to Breathe

The title was taken from one of Maroon 5’s old songs. I like the chorus part:

And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it’s getting harder and harder to breathe

Yesterday was almost crazy. The day before my bestfriend asked me, “What’re you gonna do for the long weekend?” I said, “Pretty much nothing.” She said, “Same here.” But I woke up in an unstable emotion that Easter Day. So I text her and said, “Let’s go out.”

We wandered around the shopping mall in a pair of very lousy outfits, acting like two teenage girls being lost in the crowd. We ended up in a karaoke place, singing out loud from Kelly Clarkson, Maroon 5, Backtreet Boys to Korean’s Wonder Girl, Super Junior…..maybe the best word wasn’t singing…crying out probably better. And we wrapped up the day bringing home a new TV.

On our way home, I asked her, “How could we be like this?” She said, “Dunno, we are always like this.” I asked her again, “What’s wrong with us?” She said, “Nothing’s wrong with everything. We just…different from most of the people.”

Believe me, sometimes you don’t need any alcohol to get drunk.

Before going to bed, I stared at my old models stored above the closet and a more uneasy feeling strucked me: “What the heck have I been doing this whole time?”

And that left me….a hard to breathe moment this whole day.

I’m just so sick of it all.

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