I remember she once said that she wanted the dreams to stop coming. I knew deep down in her heart she had a doubt. She’d been living with those kinds of dreams most of her life. No matter how much she resented the “visions” for always giving her confusions, fear and frustration, she somehow got along with it.

Dreams never be just ordinary dreams for her. Most dreams coming in her sleeps were clues, giving her blur or sometimes vivid previews about what will happen in the near future. They used to be very vivid when she was much younger and she thought it was fun. But as she grew, she found them tiring. Most dreams were clues about bad things.

She once asked God why she got those dreams when she had never even asked. Should there be a “mission” like in TV series? Or they just clues to be used by herself to prepare her heart and mind when the visions became true? She never knew. She just tried to live with it.

Then she found out that not everything came from God. She remembered the story in the Holy Book about Devils trying to overheard the Angels discussing the future (matters in human life) and then they got caught and thrown away by the stars. It made her realize one thing: probably…those dreams were not directly from God,but from the devils who wish to make her heart waver from God.

There are reasons why mystery should remain a mystery, she once said. It keeps you hold your hope up only to God and won’t blame life when things aren’t turning the way you want it.

The dreams eventually stopped. It’s been awhile since then. She never denies if sometimes she misses it though, but living with surprises is what she always wants. However, tonight, after a very long time, she said, I need the clues, need to foresee something to stop my mind from wondering about something. She said just this time. But she never dare ask God to give her back the “visions”. No, she said, i just need that one particular clue for one night. But she knew she has lost it all. She even rarely remembers her dreams these days. She just has to deal with it.

Well…she’s only human.


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