Wake Me Up in the Sunlight

After two and a half full rainy days, the sun shines so brightly upon Seoul’s sky this morning. But I still woke up with the same feelings. Feelings that I don’t know how to put on words properly.

But I’m going to put on a quote from the last paragraph of  a writing in a book which I think is very good. This is something that I hope to be able to write when I finally reach 30s. (really don’t pray for that day to come soon, seriously)

“But as grateful as I am to everyone who’s ever believed in me, and to all of the kind, generous, hardworking women who have advised me and inspired me, I’ve learned in my thirties that we have to make our own success. Hard work and loving what you do create the only path to greatness. There’s no cheating life. I don’t care if you’re rich; I don’t care if you have connections; I don’t care if you’re beautiful. You can’t rely on others to carry you where you want to go. Build your own path, follow your own dream, and –I promise– you will discover how powerful you truly are.”  –Rachel Roy, Discovering Just How Strong I Really Am, from the book “Thirty Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30”

The feeling of constant failure somehow lingers and to the worst is it becomes so familiar that we might be friends with it. But the thing is, since we think we’re stuck in this harsh reality that we are already too exhausted making any possible attempts to get out of here, we just give up and start to just rely on a good luck to finally come to us and bring us to the dream life we’ve always wanted.

Ahh. Woman.

I’ve been envying so many people in facebook (I know or not) who can get a chance to sit in one of the best schools in Europe or America. I don’t know why I’m so obsessed of good education. Maybe simply because I want to be smart. I like to be smart. I’m not a genius, but I think I know where I should put my intelligence level at. And I love to be surrounded by smart people, to make friends with them and even to be in competition with them. For me that just what prevents life from being boring.  She knows how much I adore the character of Dr.Temperance Brennan from “Bones” TV show. If I could be someone else in this world, I would want to be the real-version of her, really…I don’t mind that.

I just realized that I’m losing my skill on creative writing. I forgot the last time I wrote short stories. And I obviously know the reason: I don’t read. It’s been a very long time since the last time I found my self drown in any novel. And as the universal fact for writers says: you don’t read, you cannot write. So I’ve been visiting Kyobo Bookstore lately (more than once in a month!) and after a long consideration whether I should take Haruki Murakami or Mitch Albom,I finally made up my mind to grab this novel: Howard Jacobson’s “The Finkler Question.” I need a good writing, a good story…and also a good humor. And to my surprise this novel –though very advance in vocabulary selections and very British– really gives me all! Very recommended to read. I found my self laughing over some lines, really. This author has his own wit and intelligence in writing.

The sun is high. People go out and enjoy it. I have a novel to read.

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